Emotional regulation and Addiction

Technology Series Part 1 of 3 

Addiction is a subject that has been fascinating and devastating to society since the beginning of time. Although the specific substance or behavior that the addict struggles with changes from one generation to the next, the process of developing and sustaining an addiction is timeless. The focus of this blog will be a current issue that is affecting the recovery community, increased use of technology in daily life.  As our attention is diverted more and more with apps, devices, social media, etc., it becomes increasingly difficult to be mindfully present in the moment. We are now able to occupy any and all of our free time with digital content aka “connectivity.” As we look at people around us, they are increasingly preoccupied as well, leaving less opportunity for us to engage with each other.

Less mindful engagement in the moment presents a problem when we look at the process of emotional regulation. Emotion regulation is a person’s ability to effectively manage and outwardly respond to their internal experience of the world. Impaired emotional regulation leads to decreased awareness of emotions that we are feeling and decreased ability to respond to our environment in a way that is healthy.   We begin developing emotional regulation skills in infancy and continue to develop them throughout our lives.

Babies are unable to soothe themselves and require a caregiver to attend to their every need. As they mature, children should gradually begin to develop the ability to soothe themselves. Problematic behaviors are often the result of children learning to substitute some form of escape like food, television, or video games, for genuine self-care. An example of this would be a neglected child who eats to feel better. In this case, they are substituting food for love, which could later result in them developing an unhealthy relationship with food.  

Are unhealthy habits impacting your life?

Children learn their early self-care skills from their parents, making it more likely that unhealthy coping skills and poor emotional regulation are passed from generation to generation. Addictions start as coping skills that seem to be working. The child who eats to feel better does actually experience some relief from emotional pain and loneliness by consuming food, as chemicals are released in their brain. This positive reinforcement causes them to continue to eat for comfort.            

Events like childhood abuse and neglect, other trauma, and high levels of stress can affect how well a person is able to regulate their emotions. A dependency on addictive substances or behaviors can be used as a replacement for emotional regulation. This is when a person is reliant on their substance or behavior of choice in order to “escape” emotions that are uncomfortable to them.  This looks like someone struggling with alcohol abuse who drinks to escape from a painful experience or memory that they are unable to cope with while sober.

Learning skills to regulate emotions can unlock your true potential.

When someone is not effectively regulating emotions, they continue to experience emotions, but they take longer to register that their internal state has changed or they may not register this change at all. Decreased awareness makes it less likely that they will be able to identify the event that triggered the change in their emotional state and more likely that they will respond as if they are on auto-pilot. This could be a problem for both positive and negative emotions.

Imagine that the person who struggles with an addiction receives positive recognition at work. Naturally they experience happiness and excitement.  Because they are distracted by increased use of technology and less aware in the change of their internal state, they do not correctly identify and label what they are experiencing. Lowered awareness of this excited internal state could lead to relapse because celebration can be a trigger for use of their substance of choice.